A Devil On Horseback

2007-03-13T15:53:00.000-04:00

Mild Obsession

I guess I have sorta been into weird dancey industrail house shit for a while, but I just rediscovered this song and its adding fuel to the fire. I know Prodigy is back in fashion now (old prodigy), I called that shit like 2 years ago. I knew hipsters were gonna take that and run with it and would think it was cool to dress up like old ravers. Nothing wrong with that, I mean, Chris had a RAD tye-died prodigy shirt which i encouraged him to wear at any/every opportunity. This is next, I think.

WHAT WHAT IN THE BUTT!

2007-03-05T20:27:00.000-05:00

OK, seriously, if you did not watch the video I posted on March 1st. Scroll down and watch. I am obsessed with this guy.

My Friend Joe

2007-03-05T20:14:00.000-05:00

An old co-worker of mine, Joe, came to Argentina a couple of weeks ago to visit some family he has here. I had a really good time taking him around, and since I can't seem to manage taking pictures myself, here is Argentina through the eyes of Joe.

2007-03-01T12:17:00.000-05:00

What?

Just be gentle. I'm delicate like a flower.

Thanks Tinytiny-

DS

2007-02-27T12:25:00.000-05:00

Me : you dont leave very nice comments
Me : AND
Me : i wasnt bashing britbrit
DS : dude
DS : you were
DS : and it was a funny comment
M: i was NOT bashing
DS: dude
DS: i looked again
DS: it's bashing
DS: you called her hulk
Me : whatever. she was hulk! she fucked that SUV upwith an umbrella!
Me: not an easy task
DS : dude
DS : just the fact that you posted about her is making fun
Me : no, i thinkpeople should leave her the fuck alone or shes gonna kill herself
DS : yeah
DS : exactly
DS : then why did you post that?
Me : cause i wasnt making fun!
DS : but you think people should leave her alone
Me : yes
DS : or shes gonna suicide
Me : yeah
DS : then why don't you leave her alone?
Me : you started it!
Me : i found out about her cause of your BLOG!
Me : i am in south america!
DS : that was before it was apparent she was going off the deeep end
DS : and i was saying i liked her hair
Me : so
Me : i learned it from watching you mommy
Me : :)

Hulk!

2007-02-23T11:49:00.000-05:00

KittyCrapT: WHOA!
u7khgbr: oh damn
u7khgbr: she hates suv as much as williamsburgers
u7khgbr: shhes going all incredible hulk!

Everything I Do Gon' Be Funky

2007-02-22T16:47:00.000-05:00

Yeah
Can you feel it baby
I can too

Come on swing it [4 times]

1-2-3 - Now we come to the pay off

It's such a good vibration
It's such a sweet sensation [2 times]

Yo! It's about that time
To bring forth the rhythm and the rhyme
I'm a get mine so get yours
I wanna see sweat comin' out your pores
On the house tip is how I'm swingin' this
Strictly Hip-Hop boy, I ain't singin' this
Bringing this to the entire nation
Black, white, red, brown
Feel the vibration

Come on come on
Feel it feel it
Feel the vibration

(Chorus)

Vibrations good like Sunkist
Many wanna know who done this
Marky Mark and I'm here to move you
Rhymes will groove you
And I'm here to prove to you
That we can party on the positiive side
And pump posititve vibes
So come along for the ride
Making you feel the rhythm is my occupation
So feel the vibration

Come on come on
Feel it feel it
Feel the vibration

(Chorus)

Donnie D break it down

Donnie D's on the back up
Drug free, so put the crack up
No need for speed
I'm the anti D-R-U-G-G-I-E my
Body is healthy
My rhymes make me wealthy
And the Funky Bunch helps me
To bring you a show with no intoxication
Come on feel the vibration

Yeah
Can you feel it baby
I can too

(Chorus)

Now the time has come for you to get up
The rest had you fed up but Yo, I won't let up
On the rhythm and rhyme that's designed to
Make your behind move to what I'm inclinced to
Pure Hip Hop, no sell out
If you ain't in it to win it
Then get the hell out
I command you to dance
I wanna see motivation
Come on now feel the vibration

{Piano solo}

It's such a good vibration
Come on come on come on
It's such a sweet sensation
Feel it feel it

(Chorus)

{Piano - out}

It's such a good vibration
Come on come on come on
It's such a sweet sensation
Feel it feel it

(Chorus)

{Piano - out}

Few Random Thoughts

2007-02-16T22:27:00.000-05:00

1) The other day when I posted that Jessica Simpson and Ricky Martin looked like the same person, the title of my post should have been Ricky Simpson. It's got a nice ring to it especially when you say it in Spanish - "reek-eeee"

2) I remembered when I used to go to school here, 1st and 2nd grade, that this girl in my neighborhood took me as her show and tell once. Actually, I had a Casio keyboard that had a pre-programmed version of the song "Greensleeves". I had picked out the notes and was able to play it. She took me, and my Casio, and made me stand in front of the class and play Greensleeves. I think she got an A, but I do specifically remember that I fucked up the song in front of the whole class.

3) When you drive a public bus here, that bus is essentially "yours". Which means that you can pimp it out however you see fit. Tonight I saw a row of buses coming down the street. Nothing out of the ordinary really. Then the 4th or 5th bus that passed, had black lights inside instead of regular fluorescent lights. It also had red and pink lights up by where the driver is. Since I saw it, I have seen one or two more like that. I promise I will take a picture. It's the disco bus.

Lois

2007-02-13T12:04:00.000-05:00

Gerrit loves his mother very much. However, Gerrit has a problem sometimes with her emailing habits. She likes to forward chain letters and whatnot. I think its hilarious but, I am also new to the list of people she forwards stuff to. In anycase, I received an email from her called "Time To Paint The Cat". Here are some of the pictures (just to give you an idea of the type of stuff that is constantly coming through on Gerrits blackberry). I say, if gettin' these emails is wrong, I don't wanna be right...

Job Market

2007-02-09T14:24:00.000-05:00

My cousin here in Argentina is currently looking for a new job as an administrative assistant. She has been going to mucho interviews and whatnot. In this process I have learned some insane stuff about what it is like to be an Argentine worker here. (the following does not happen to Americans, or so I've been told. Maybe because they know they would get a swift kick in the ass if they did):

To get a job, in most cases you must first submit a resume with a photo. If you get called for an interview the process goes something like this:

1) First interview
2) Second interview
3) Psychological test
4) Have a physical performed
5) A home visit from a representative of the employer. They check to make sure your living conditions are adequate. They take pictures to go show to other people at the office of the employer
6) An extensive review of your finances and a credit check.

THEN...You may or may not get the job. At this point, you will still be up against 4 or 5 other people.

My cousin is going to a job interview today where they will make her play "games". Leadership games or something. This will take the place of step 1 listed above.

Once you get the job, I'm sure there are many other ridiculous things that take place. The only one I know of for now is that when you call in sick, they send a doctor to your house to verify that you are, in fact, sick.

Chris Otto and I would never be able to hold down jobs here if we were Argentine. Well, Chris would never actually get the job. The interview process would be halted at the home visit.

Same Annoying Looking Person

2007-02-09T10:26:00.000-05:00

G had a very keen observation today. That Jessica Simpson and Ricky Martin are the same person. I am laughing because he's right and also because in the pictures he sent me for comparison, you can see her nip...

I Miss...

2007-02-08T18:23:00.000-05:00

This guy...

These guys...

And this place...

On another note, My cousins 4 yr old daughter showed me this dance called "BUTTER". There is a song that goes along with it, that is called Butter and is sorta racy. Here she is (her name is Sol) doing the butter for me...

I haven't been taking many pictures mostly because I think people are out to rob me and partly because I have not my had my computer until about 3 days ago. I am going to try to take more pictures. I had lice last week, I should have taken a picture of THAT. It was so gnarly. Sol gave them to me which is why I am not angry. You can't be mad at a 4 yr old for giving you lice, I suppose. I thought about it though...

RIP Anna Nicole

2007-02-08T16:03:00.000-05:00

Awards shows will not be the same without you....

On another note, I had lice last week.

OK. This Is Actually Funny

2007-02-01T16:45:00.000-05:00

Here is the review of the Will Smith movie. The one that got me so angry. However, this is the google translation fo the review and well....in Googles broken Espanglish the review actually comes out sorta funny....

but you may get the drift...

Maybe not.

The American dream knows borders, neither races, nor religions, nor nationalities. So hard it will be his power, one imagines, that neither the protagonist (Will Smith), of black race, nor the Italian director (Gabriele Muccino), nor all those that is behind this mamarracho sensiblero call In search of the happiness gave account of which they were doing, perhaps, one of the racist, cruel and cynical films the more of the last times. Everything, sure to count the tender, apparently shared in common and affectionate history of the devotion of a father by its son. It films treats on a thirtyish one which it survives selling medical scanners in San Francisco, in the '80. It does not go to him very well with the sale (in which it invested all his money) and above her wife mistreats it because she does not bring money to house. The man is completely devoted by his boy of five years and does the impossible thing to give a life better him. But the world is put, seems to him against. Specially the Chinese, the hippies, the crazy people, the poor men, the black, homeless: a chain of subjects that, from a full script of absurd eventful journeys, rob it, swindles it, step on it, they patotean it and they do the impossible thing so that it does not raise head. It is known, those tipejos to which it does not go to them well because they do not want. In fact, he himself says to him to his son: “You do not leave frustrated them rob your dreams to you”. Or pavada of the sort. Her wife, a true witch, leaves them of a day for another one and she goes away to New York. And it, every time with less money, is losing the house, the motel, pilcha, everything. Pero Chris always was capable for the mathematics and, after an accidental crossing, pasantía is ended up coiling in one to be stockbroker. They are six months in which it will not see a weight and it will work like a dog. But the subject offers good dividends. And above, there, in pulcra company, all dress well, are healthy intelligent, graceful, shared in common and familieros competitors. Yes, they are all millionaire targets and. Like a our Uncle Tom (pardon, Chris) it had liked to be. But so that the sacrifices render their fruits, Chris must run and make twenty things simultaneously. And for that, it seems, contracted it Muccino (the last kiss), that could be very good director of athletics tests since its specialty seems to be the one to make transpirar all along to people. And the streets of San Francisco, in behind schedule by far a traffic, can well seem the 800 meters with fences of the Olympic Games. There is one picks of dignity in the effort that Smith puts and some that another spark comes to the light in the relation with its son (who is the true son of the actor), but beyond that, In she looks for… is a cinematographic shame done and straight. An inexplicable, irredimible, unpresentable vile trick. A manipulating, mentirosa and as false film as the grey hairs that Will combs. -

Fact- Checking

2007-02-01T15:22:00.000-05:00

I really can't explain this, but today I am defending the honer of Will Smith and Kate Moss. In another browser window, i am busy composing a letter to a movie reviewer who, in todays most popular Argentine newspaper, wrote a review of the Will smith movie "In Pursuit Of Happiness". Don't get me wrong, I basically HATE Will Smith. I will never forgive such songs as "Gettin Jiggy With It", "Men In Black", or "Miami", especially "Men In Black" because they sampled an awesome song, "Forget- Me-Nots" by Patrice Rushen....THAT i cannot forgive. Moving on...
This writer wrote this review about how the movie is a farce, how there is no possible way all of these things could have happened to this character, how Americans make up these feel good story lines with impossible odds. He closes the review by saying that the movie is a manipulative lie and that this sort of thing could never happen in real life, but that in America we seem to think it can. I wish I had the exact transalation of what he said. It was really, really harsh and was basically some sort of America bashing in disguise of a movie review. Now...in NO place did he mention that this was based on a TRUE story. Of course, it is Hollywood, so i'm sure some things have been manipulated a bit to make for a good movie, but honestly, I think that is worth a mention especially since the only reason this movie was made is because it's sort of an incredible story. I guess what pisses me off so much is that the dude obviously didn't bother to fact-check or read any sort of synopsis on the movie. I have seen the posters here and they explicitly say "Based On A True Story" at the bottom.
Now, rewinding back a week or two...
I was watching a very popular t.v. show one day, and the whole hour long show was about the modeling industry and how it's basically a cover-up for prostitution...(wtf?!). Sure, there are isolated incidents here and there and having worked with models, some of them really big-time, I am aware of problems and generally do not agree with modeling industry as a whole. This show was making me laugh out loud while my whole family gasped in horror at the things they were "exposing". I was telling my family that they have no idea what they are talking about. They looked at me, in my disgusting cut off shorts and broken out skin, with a you-obviously-don't-know-anything-about-models look, which couldn't be further from the truth. I seriously havn't laughed that loud in a long time. First of all, to the side of the stage they had 4 models standing there in g-strings and stripper get-ups...and the host, a horny looking 60 year old, would ask them one by one, "has anyone ever solicited you for prostitution?". the answers were resounding "no"'s from every girl. Then he was like "Maybe oral favors....hmmmm?". Again, the answers were "no". The guy was such a pig and the girls were SO busted. Argentina has some really fucking warped idea of what modeling is. Most of the "models" have chin, butt, cheek, lip, and breast implants and are DISGUSTING! So, if that didn't cause enough laughter, half way into the show this really creepy dramatic music started in, and the camera started to come in closer to the guys face. He starts off by saying, over the music, "now we are going to tell you a tragic story of a super model who lost everything to drugs. She is famous all over the world and now has nothing. Her name is KATE MOSS..." Right as he says, KATE MOSS, the music goes up a pitch and gets really dramatic. He continues by saying, "We have put together a short montage/story about her rise to fame and her fall to nothingness. May i present to you: KATE MOSS: STORY OF A BUSTED GIRL"...Then it goes into a whole edited 5-minute montage of interviews with her and her supposed "tragic" tale. Basically, they talk about how she was a huge Calvin Klein model, blah blah blah...and fast-forward to the cocaine kate incident, etc...etc...etc... The thing that pissed me off so much (for some yet unknown reason), was that they said that she lost all her contracts (true) and that now she is destitute and has nothing (lies). End of story. Absolutely NO MENTION about how she actually got bigger contracts and it completely revitalized her career! NOTHING. At this point, my family all starts talking amongst themselves saying things like, "what a tragedy"...."see what drugs will do?"...."horrible...". There I was going, "NO! They didn't tell you the whole story! She's HUGE now...she got all her contracts back and more!!!". They all just looked at me and thought i was just making up shit cause maybe i like Kate Moss or something.
You may be asking what the point of this entry is. Here it is: Fucking fact-check, people. For such a greater-then-thou country that prides itself on pompously always thinking it is right, in many things you are WRONG. Probably the only people in Argentina whom I would expect to have their facts somewhat straight would be the journalists, and yet they are as ignorant as they come. I know that Argentines do not have access, or do not know about, such magazines as the Sun, or gossip shit like Perez Hilton or Page 6 or really have the sort of media access that we do...shit like that, but i do wish that when someone here decides to write something with such angry conviction and wants to present their opinion as fact, that they will at least be able to stand by their story with actual facts. Again, i don't know why Kate Moss and Will Smith inspired me to take such a stance, but god-dammit, I'm gonna do it. Now i understand why when I am talking to Argentines, their perception of life in America is so fucked up. Now it all makes sense. The lack of fact-checking. It all comes down to that.

Ever Wondered....

2007-01-19T14:05:00.000-05:00

what a country "sounds" like? If you want to know what Argentina sounds like, make yourself a playlist with "Gasolina" by Daddy Yankee (I think) and "My Humps" by Black Eyed Peas. Listen to it on repeat in your car, in your house, to the store, on the street...THEN take it to the bars and the clubs, and make sure someone in your neighborhhod has it as well to blast it while you are trying to sleep.

There you go. This is what Argentina sounds like.

Fun, no?

Long Time, No See

2007-01-16T23:19:00.000-05:00

I haven´t posted in forever mostly because I am without computer. The dumb cooling system on it broke before I left the country and it is in the great U.S. of A getting fixed. I was packing, getting ready to leave, then in Mexico, then travelling some more, now in the Andes mountains. I am still living out of a suitcase. I will be in Bunos Aires in less then a week and with computer in about 3 weeks and which point it will all be blog-tastic again...

Mainly I am blogging because I see that I have moved down the list on DS´s page of his links. That, I do not like...

I have so many stories to tell and pictures to post and it really pisses me off that i had a shit computer that broke right before my year long trip. thanks alot, PC....I hate you now.

2006-12-11T16:00:00.000-05:00

DDDDRAMATIX

It's been a long time since I posted anything, mainly cause shit has been super boring. Now that this new video is in my life, I have a new reason to blog.

And On The Last Day...People Are Psyched!

2006-11-22T10:25:00.000-05:00

It's been a while since I posted anything...mostly because I have had nothing to say. I still don't really. Just grinding away, counting down the days, working, and all that other crap that happens just like every other day.

Today is the day before Thanksgiving. Most people have a half day or have the day off and are in route back to the comfort of their families. Outside, it is chilly and overcast, but people seem to be psyched. There is a great energy in the air. I just went out to smoke a cigarette and while I was out there a trash truck cruised down the street blaring "Funky Cold Medina". No joke. I didn't even know trash trucks had radios in them, but that rules. The guy driving it looked psyched. When I came back inside, the door man was singing along loudly to Chicago "Hard To Say I'm Sorry" and even though it's sort of a sad, cheesy song...the guy looked psyched.

Speaking of Chicago, I have an ACTN coming up. (ACTN stands for Adult Contemporary Taco Night). I have had 5 of these so far. This will be the 6th one. The occasion is my birthday/going away party. I am excited to get all my peeps under the same roof one last time to listen to slow jams and get wasted in my honor. I CANNOT get super-duper drunk at this one. The last one was sort of a disaster, one which made me piss in my own living room. That's right...I pissed in my living room. That is what happens when I am way too drunk and you decide to do blow in my bathroom. When I have to pee, you better put that key away and let me in...or bad, shameful things start to happen.

Today is also my last day here at my job. I am nervous because of the loss of income, but I am also super psyched. My boss sort of mentioned yesterday that perhaps he needed me for another 2 weeks. I will have to think about it, but money is nice I suppose. I am going to Virginia tonight to hang out with G and his mother for the Thanksgiving weekend. I have heard that his mother and I are like 2 peas in a pod. This should be interesting. I have not been back to Virginia since I was 9 years old, living with my father, in Newport News on a sailboat. Speaking of which, my father is coming to town the Saturday after Thanksgiving. Yet another reason to be super-psyched!

My dad rules.

2006-11-15T14:01:00.000-05:00

Pussies

Does Being Broke Ever End?

2006-11-09T10:10:00.000-05:00

I made way more money 5 years ago then I do now. Well, actually, I make the same amount of money now then I did 5 years ago. 5 years ago though, I got overtime at my job so I would just never clock out. Need to take a band to a strip club at 3am? No problem, still clocked in making time and a half.

Last year, I was broke because I was freelancing and always had to wrangle work. On top of that, I was saving so that I could go to Argentina for a month to visit the fam. When I got back from Argentina, after being there for the month of February, I decided to move there. Since February, I have been saving every last bit of expendable income and therefore have been broke this entire year. I have done an OK job at saving, but have also been hit with tons of bills and unexpected expenditures. I have realized that when I get to Argentina, I am also going to be broke the entire time I am there because I am essentially going to be living off the savings. THEN....when I get back from Argentina, I have a feeling that I am going to be broke because I will have been away for a year and will need to come back and look for work and get my feet firmly planted again. So..to make a long story short....the broke timeline which started in mid-2005 has the potential to go on until AT LEAST April or May of 2008. Fucking perfect. Did I mention that I am turning 29 in 3 weeks? Perfect. It never ends apparently.

Yesterday after work I was thinking about this cycle of being broke. When I got on the subway to head home I found a letter on the subway seat. Curiosity got the best of me and I grabbed the letter and promptly read it. It was sad, pathetic, endearing, and funny all at the same time. Basically, I feel like this guy. I definitely feel your pain, brother.

(My name is ---- -----. I had an accident when I was a younger man. I was pushed from a high porch. As I started to get up, I began to suffer from epilepsy blackouts. From 1952 to 1962, I was very energetic and talented as a disc jockey looking for success. I am a James Brown imitator. I consider myself a god artist. Please help as much as you can. Thank you. "I'm Good")

I Would Re-Consider Living In Brooklyn....

2006-10-31T13:55:00.000-05:00

...if it still looked like this:

or had a charming little house like this:

but instead, I am mortified by the separation of water and must stay in the city. Oh well.

Gwenni

2006-10-27T11:50:00.000-04:00

Gwenni yodles and it makes me want to go home and change into my leiderhosen (which I do actually own, thank you very much).

Much Like DS

2006-10-27T11:04:00.000-04:00

...I really don't have much to say these days. I am going through some personal shit that I probably shouldn't be discussing on here. My tendency would be to go ahead and do just that, but after much reflection...I have decided to refrain. I am pretty angry though.

Last night I spent the night at J-Frans house. She rules. There aren't too many people I can sit around with and listen to shitty inspirational Madonna songs with. Where did I go wrong? Why am I not Madonna?

Oh! This reminds me of a little story:

I did karaoke once with a pretty big producer who has done shit for Avril Lavigne and Britney Spears. I did the ONLY song I can do really well, which is Bette Davis Eyes (any girl smoker can do a bang-up job at that song). He thought I was AMAZING and harassed me to come into the studio with him to record some demos and try my hand at writing. After a bunch of weeks of harassment and a shit load of "yeah, right..." from my end, I caved and went to the studio with him. I "wrote" a pretty awful song (he said it was good and he used the word "raw"..and said maybe its a "little too edgy for the tween set") and then recorded it. He autotuned the shit out of my voice and put so many effects on it that I could hardly even tell if I was a man or a woman at that point. In anycase, he never called me again. My real singing voice sucks mucho ass.

One of my first dates with the ex, D, we did Karaoke. As I was singing my first song of the night, D was somewhere in the back yelling "YOU SUUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKK!!!!!!". Somehow, that night, I fell in love.

I love an honest man who can tell it like it is.

Chris Gren Brings It Again

2006-10-26T13:53:00.000-04:00

I've Been Down This Road Before

2006-10-26T10:07:00.000-04:00

When I look back on my relationship with D, the thing that always bums me out the most is the break-up. The series of moments and memories that made up the relationship itself were splendid.

We spent snowy weekends in Vermont..hanging out in the hot tub, he tried to teach me how to snowboard in a zip-up 80's new wave onesy, and we always came back loaded down with weird, wooden, countrified knick-knacks we had picked up from the thrift store. When the house was too full, we would have romantic meetings in the car out in the driveway. A 2-door Saab, which made things a bit tricky. In the warmer months we rode our bikes a lot. Sometimes we would pick up cold cuts and go pick-nik over by the water. Other times we would ride up to the flea market and all around the west side of Manhattan. Our first date was actually a bike ride where we went down to battery park on our bikes and checked out all the koi fish.

We had a lot of fun for the most part. We had a lot of laughs at eachothers expense. D spent a lot of time coming up with nicknames for me that he knew would piss me off and send me into a tizzy. Smokestack Stilwell was my favorite. On the weekdays, we would stay up late listening to bad music, or I would hide out in my room in a silent comedy central protest (he's obsessed with that channel and told me that if I don't like it I must "hate fun"...and what sort of person hates fun?). The break-up on the other hand was a whole different story.

I can't remember an incident in my adult life where I had lower self-esteem. All the groveling, begging, fighting and crying really did a number on me. I thought that I had made a huge mistake. In my mind, perhaps the hugest mistake I had ever made. I wanted D back so desperately that a couple times I literally grabbed him by the arm and let him drag me towards the door in an attempt to get him to stay in my life. According to him, I spent the entire relationship degrading him and being a horrible girlfriend (which I still don't think is true). In these desperate moments of trying to reconcile, it was my way of trying to make up for months and months of disfunction.

Can you say pathetic? At the time it seemed perfectly rational.

Anyways, that was back in March. We are now in October and a lot has changed. I now see Dave in the neighborhood from time to time, arm in arm with a cute little Asian girl. I never say hi, unless we are literally walking towards eachother on the sidewalk. If he ever sees me on the sidewalk, chances are that I am arm in arm with someone as well. We have let eachother go, and its a relief to both of us, I'm sure. I am genuinely happy for him. The one thing that maybe I would reveal to him now (and its something that all men should learn...but refuse to) is that, when the sex diminishes...and is not happening often....or the girl seems reluctant and ready for it to be over...the relationship is pretty much over. Women are tricky. They really are. One day, they could be head over heels for you and in a matter of words, they can be turned off...never to be turned on again. It could be a turn-off that happens quickly or one that takes months or even years to build up. Bottom line though? When the sex ends...the relationship is next. They will never tell you what the real reasons are. It could be the way you breath when you fuck, It could be the way you eat, It could be a slow build-up of fighting that makes the girl, over time, see you as weak and therefore not fuckable anymore, It could be your weight, height, hair, it could be anything and everything. She will never tell you the truth. She will always say some version of the "its not you, it's me..and maybe I need time to work on it". Then, the man that comes after you...she will fuck his brains out. You know why? cause women don't lose their sex-drive EVER. They have just lost it with YOU. They still want to fuck, and not only that...they want to make up for months of lame fucking and not being into their ex's. With D and I, I think the relationship ended right after it started....and maybe I was degrading most of the time. Who knows. Maybe the "it's not you, it's me" got to be too much for him. D-if you ever read this, I am sorry. I never meant to hurt your feelings. You are wonderful and fuckable...you just weren't to me.

The groveling, crying, fighting....trying to get the answer I want.... I will never do that again. Never ever. If it's on, it's on. If not, then it is time to move on...

Its October. A lot of time has passed since Dave. The air is cold, the wind is fierce, and my man is sleeping in the spare bedroom.

Times have changed. I'm growing up.

2006-10-20T15:22:00.000-04:00

I Totally Stole This From Idolator

but this is awesome. Watch the whole thing, the silver outfit African dance is pretty great.

UPDATE: OK, I Lied.

2006-10-18T12:59:00.000-04:00

THIS is the best thing I have read in Page 6 since the Steven Segal story:

THE Rev. Al Sharpton has a new cause. His camp plans to fund a lawsuit on behalf of comic Chris Rock's mother, Rose Rock, against the Southern food chain Cracker Barrel. Mama Rock claims she and her daughter were denied service at the country-style eatery near Myrtle Beach, S.C. Though a spokesperson for Cracker Barrel tells us, "We do not tolerate any form of discrimination," maybe they should have responded to Sharpton sooner. The suit will be announced today during a demonstration outside the eatery.

I have been wondering for a very long time why Al Sharpton is still around. I feel like anytime something happens to a minority, he pops up. He pops up in N.Y and then 15 minutes later, hes in L.A. Now, he's suing Cracker Barrel on behalf of Chris Rocks mother? I mean, I wouldn't want Chris Rocks mother to be denied service anywhere, but why does Al Sharpton have to be involved? Leave Cracker Barrel alone, Al, they have really good chicken fried steak. Just...leave them alone.

If You Wanna Be My Lover

2006-10-18T12:48:00.000-04:00

I was just singing a Spice Girls song last week. I knew all the words. It was awesome. Coincidentally, I just read this little tidbit in todays Page 6:

October 18, 2006 -- EDDIE Murphy will spice up his life as a father again - former Spice Girl Melanie Brown, a k a Scary Spice, is four months pregnant with his baby, according to TMZ.com. They're rumored to be tying the knot next month. A source told the celebrity site that Brown came into the Le Bra Lingerie boutique in West Hollywood gushing about the upcoming birth, but admitted the pregnancy made her tired. Mur phy's rep had no comment.

I really have no comments on this other then it was the most exciting thing I have read in Page 6 since the Steven Segal story.

Sheep Guy. Halloween Ideas.

2006-10-17T16:01:00.000-04:00

Out Of The Loop

2006-10-17T15:52:00.000-04:00

I haven't been much in the mood to write lately. Actually, I haven't been on the computer much in my spare time.

I spent most of the afternoon today watching this amazing new kitchen appliance in action. I really think my mornings might be different if I owned one. I might buy myself one for Argentina...

Also, I never actually saw Bad Brains the other night. I left right before the stage because of tiredness, tardiness (on their part), and a lame fight with a douchebag who kept telling all of us around him how he's "really HARDCORE". I just left.

Vittoria is coming to visit me on Thursday from S.F. I am excited to see old friends!

2006-10-09T15:01:00.000-04:00

YES!

DS, you jealous? I mean, I know they are sorta cracked out now, but you jealous?

DS Gets Jealous, Takes It Out On Me

2006-10-09T14:29:00.000-04:00

Me: i am going to see bad brains tomorrow
Me: at cb's
Me: i might wear a helmet
DS: dude
DS: fuck
DS: you
Me: why?
Me: why fuck me?
DS: cause
DS: i fuckin said so
DS: and i am the boss
Me: hmm. ok

Flowey Tops

2006-10-06T14:34:00.000-04:00

I am hungover and tired and somehow managed to dress myself up all weird this morning. I look like one of the Gypsy Kings. I am also wearing a cape.

I want this day to end. I need nap.

I went to a Mets game the other day. Ahh, the things a girl will do for a good man. No, but, for real...I had a really good time. It helps when the people you are with a HUGE baseball fans and go apeshit when good stuff happens during the game. The guy in front of us had an amazing haircut and kept turning around to hi-five us:

Here are, from left to right, Brennan, Jennifer, and Gerrit intensely watching the game. I obviously am not because I am too busy taking pix of them. Brennan and Jen are getting married in Mexico over New Years and I am attending as G's date. The wedding sounds like it is going to be beautiful. I am excited to attend and be in such a special place. Plus, I love siestas and pinto beans.

So, this guy below..the one gerrit is looking at with the mini jew-fro and binoculars, he was a major DOUCHE! He kept getting pissed at us for going to the bathroom. Hey asshole, YOU'RE AT A SPORTING EVENT....get over yourself. If you don't want to get up to let people go to the bathroom then take your fucking team spirit back to your couch. YEAH! There is no "I" in "TEAM".

Last night I went to the bar with Nicola. People have some serious baseball fever right now. So much so, that they are dressing up their dogs in jerseys. This guy's name is "Wango". Hi there, lil' buddy....

Babe, if you are reading this over the weekend, don't sleep with no nasty hookers. Maybe one of these girls would be a better option?

Ok. so I never thought I would say this...and it MAY be the only time, sooo here it goes: you ready?...ok.....Here it goes:

LET'S GO METS!

2006-10-05T15:50:00.000-04:00

Wowzers.

This shit rules.

2006-10-05T03:02:00.000-04:00

Pathmark Will Never Be The Same

Renata does it again. This time karaoke style. Our local Pathmark will neverbe the same! God, I love this woman.

2006-10-05T02:59:00.000-04:00

Wow.

Renata, you are officially now my favorite person.

This Is Hardcore...

2006-10-02T16:49:00.000-04:00

...here is what Chris does to pass the time when he is bored at work. Nice work.

u7khgbr: im writing hardcore song lyrics to pass the time
KittyCrapT: oh no
u7khgbr: this is beginning of the song "manners"
u7khgbr: i like eating while i walk
i like chewing while i talk
why cant you just let me be?
in my mind we all are free

YOU CANT STOP ME!
YOU CANT HELP ME!
GOOD MANNERS ARE BAD IDEAS!!!
KittyCrapT: wow chris
KittyCrapT: wow
u7khgbr: yeah its a hit i think

My Day

2006-09-28T13:47:00.000-04:00

So, I pretty much got fired the other day, but then came to work anyway and I guess wasn't really fired. I am still here. I am bored. Here is a summary of my day so far, as told in an IM conversation:

KittyCrapT: i want this day to end now
KittyCrapT: im over it
u7khgbr: how it going over there
KittyCrapT: fine. i literally havent done anything all day
KittyCrapT: my boss isnt here
KittyCrapT: ive read:
KittyCrapT: gawker
KittyCrapT: pitchfork
KittyCrapT: gothamist
KittyCrapT: idolator
KittyCrapT: stereogum
KittyCrapT: velvet rope
KittyCrapT: ny post
KittyCrapT: cnn.com
KittyCrapT: tmz.com
KittyCrapT: and...ummm
KittyCrapT: downloaded the killers album
KittyCrapT: ummm
u7khgbr: very productive
KittyCrapT: yeah
KittyCrapT: i think theres more
KittyCrapT: sfgate.com
KittyCrapT: la times
KittyCrapT: chatted a bit
KittyCrapT: on g-chat
KittyCrapT: and AIM
KittyCrapT: watched some old depeche mode videos
KittyCrapT: on youtube
KittyCrapT: maybe thats it
u7khgbr: youve really been surfing
KittyCrapT: oh yeah
KittyCrapT: surfin the net
KittyCrapT: oh, and 2 cig breaks and a lunch break
u7khgbr: sweet
KittyCrapT: yeah...
KittyCrapT: hows your day?
KittyCrapT: oh...and style.com and men.style.com
KittyCrapT: wow
KittyCrapT: ive been productive indeed
u7khgbr: damn

looking at that chat just made me wonder why I have the dumbest IM name ever. It's really bad. I think I've had that name since I used to wear black jelly bracelets on both arms and go to Hot Topic for "research" purposes. Or at least, that is what it reminds me of.

I had an amazing Argentine steak in Queens last night, then went to a really ghetto titty bar called "Ilda's Sports Cabaret". There was nothing "sports" about it. 4 girls did the booty clap dance in front of us behind the bar to get our singles. For some reason I was really sorta uncomfortable in there (although years and years ago I used to be a stripper). I think perhaps it was because I like being sort of anonymous in those places. I feel like when we walked in we were wearing a sign that said "lost white people with money". It was fun though. I had a great time last night. I got a little too drunk for a school night and today I have the attention span of a 2 year old. G is moving in this weekend. I am super excited!

International Siesta

2006-09-22T17:08:00.000-04:00

Today at work we had a lunch celebration. The reason? The boss being on a plane back from Paris and therefore not able to harass us..that and it's Friday. Everybody had to bring in a dish native to their country. I brought empanadas. They are in the bottom left hand corner. Check them out and also check out this spread of delicious food! There were taquitos, empanadas, shepherd's pie, ceviche, dulce de leche, pulled pork, and so much more..and tons of booze!

Here is the ceviceh that rocked my world:

Everyone was chowing down, big time:

These are my favorite people in this place. They also happen to be incredible cooks. I cannot talk enough about how amazing the ceviche was. Also the taquitos and homemade salsa verde. These guys really know how to throw a secret work party. They also drink like fishes. Fausto(the man on the far left)drank ALOT...as you will see in a minute....

So, after a few too many drinks, Fausto found an African mask...and well, that pretty much sums up the luncheon. I love these people (minus my boss)

Day 2

2006-09-21T10:47:00.000-04:00

...of trying to get fired. I can't be obnoxious about it, but I am definitely trying. My boss is no longer talking to me and yesterday said that if I leave my desk, even for lunch, then I am to be "sent home". Real Nice. I happen to know the labor laws, so I have been taking my full lunch breaks and my breaks that I am allowed during the day. I would quit, but I have decided that unemployment would be nice, at least for a little bit. In anycase, this has just gotten comical. I tried to talk to him yesterday and he hung up on me, people are coming by my desk wondering why I am still here, and I am already planning what I will be doing for the next 2 months up until I leave. So, we'll see how this pans out...
On another note, Today is the first day that it is chilly. I can't wait to have another summer. Very soon. I got the name and number of a broker in Argentina that deals specifically with colonial homes. I have decided I want an apartment with a patio. A nice, big, ornate tiled patio with vines and plants all over the place. I will sit out there and soak up all the sun rays...living off my unemployment checks. Sweeeeeet....

I Will Piss Myself Laughing

2006-09-20T15:21:00.001-04:00

The new Tickle Me Elmo is AMAZING! Please watch the entire clip. I especially like when he rolls onto his side, grabs his belly, then lays down and slaps the ground. Balls said he is going to wear one on his shoulder like a parrot.

Sad

2006-09-19T13:04:00.000-04:00

This article made me sad about the world at large and about the things that can break the human spirit. Other then the sadness the article made me feel, I am doing ok. My weekends are getting less crazy, which is good. Not less drinking necessarily, but definitely less crazy. The insanity that my neighbor is going through, however makes me happy that I have managed to meet a really sane guy who doesn't lie about trying to commit suicide, lie about having his friends beat people up, lie about leaving nyc (but really is hiding in his bedroom), lie about quitting his job everyday, the list goes on and on. Pathetic. Yeah, that's the kind of shit that is really happening to one of my friends right now. She somehow managed to meet the most looney tunes guy in Manhattan.

I did karaoke on Saturday. Songs I did are as follows:

Shake Your Love- Debbie Gibson (this is a new one for me, easy to sing)
Patience - G n' R ( oldie, but goodie)
Naughty Girls Need Love Too - Samantha Fox (predictable, easy to sing, thoughtless)
You Can Do Magic - America (love this song)
Crash - Gwen Stefani (5:30 in the morning, thought it was a good idea...not so much)
Listen To Your Heart - Roxette (this was an accidental choice, but I RULED at it!)
Harden My Heart - Quarterflash (always a good jam)
...a bunch of others I don't remember...

Duets I did w/ G:

Neutron Dance - Pointer Sisters ( I did a mean back-up vocal of the part that goes "woo-hoo!")
Hold The Line - Toto (good harmonizing happened here)

My solo numbers are totally predictable. I am such a girl.

Project Runway

2006-09-15T09:32:00.000-04:00

I think they may be filming something in my building, because yesterday as I was leaving I saw Kayne and Angela standing outside. Kayne is just as gay and cute as on television andAngela is just as annoying looking as well. Also, Angela was wearing that same fucking outfit she wears on t.v. Anyways, no Tim Gunn sightings again, but now that I know they are in the building...I'm gonna go looking! I love that guy!

Now, I have to go look through my call log and my sent emails because I got drunk off rum and coke last night and pretty much remember stumbling into my room and being on the phone while typing on my computer. That can only mean one thing, drunk dialing AND drunk emailing. The drunk calling runs in my family, so I am not too concerned about that...Its the drunk emailing that can get really bad. That shit is in writing so you can't necessarily take it back. My uncle (who is 55 yrs old and gay) went through a phase a couple of years ago where he would start with the drunk calling at around 11pm and it would continue till about 7am. Some of the shit he would say was really amazing. My favorite drunk call was the one where I answered and he just yelled into the phone: "YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW MADONNA, YOU BEEEEETCH!!"...and hung up. I love my Drunkle Justo.

The Fury Continues

2006-09-14T10:44:00.000-04:00

Well, It's now Thursday...the 4th workday of the week that I have been swearing up and down that I am walking out of here and never looking back. Anyways, I am still here. I'm still at the reception desk too. Now I have had to start proofreading all of the CFO's emails and correspondence as well because he can't spell and can't compose and email that makes sense. Pathetic. He makes twice as much then I do. In any case...I CAN compose an email. Here is one I sent out to the entire company this morning:

Hi everybody. I apologize for the mean tone of this email in advance, but I am annoyed.

As you all know now, I am sitting at the reception desk. I don't know if this is temporary or permanent but, regardless this is now my desk. What this means is that my paper work is on it, my pens, my stuff, etc. I am annoyed that people think its ok to a) throw stuff on my desk b) take stuff off my desk and c) use my desk as an office supply depot.

I have never gone to any of your desks and rifled through it looking for staplers, nor have I gone and picked papers up off your desk and moved them around, so please be courteous and grant me the respect.

If you need something, just ask, or go get it off your own desk.

Thank you-

After I sent this, I walked out in to the main part of our office with my hands on my hips and just stared at everyone.

Also, I saw Tim Gunn of Project Runway walk into my building yesterday. I was outside smoking a cig and I stuck my head in the lobby and yelled, "I LOVE YOU TIM GUNN!!!". He waved at me and then scurried into the elevator. I think I might have scared him.

oh well.

DS.

2006-09-12T09:55:00.000-04:00

I can't believe you didnt comment on the weird Asian video I posted (a couple posts down). I am a little dissapointed.

Thugs don't wear sandals

2006-09-12T09:37:00.000-04:00

According to DMX and the NY Post, Thugs don't wear no sandals. From today's Page 6:

September 12, 2006 -- DMX - the oft-arrested hip-hop star - says real men don't wear sandals. And he blames Beyoncé for Jay-Z's flip-flop fetish. "The flip-flops - he's just not the same," DMX complains in Vibe magazine. "It's Beyoncé. He's a sucker for love. Thugs don't do flip-flops. Yo, no matter how much vacation I'm on - we been to St. Thomas, Bahamas, all the little islands - I don't wear no flip-flops. I'm never that comfortable, not even in my own house."

On another note, I am in work HELL. I HATE HATE HATE HATE My boss and my job. I CANNOT WAIT to leave this place. I will NEVER work for a primadonna cocksucker ever again. I am going to kick more file cabinet doors closed again today. It really helped yesterday.

I am oficially a stoner, I think. Last night I smoked the pot and then went to the bodega at 12:30 am with G. We bought some gnarly hot sauce flavored chips, reeses cookies and a hersheys bar. We then ooohhh'd and aaahhhh'd at how AMAZING it all tasted. Thus far, I had not gone there. I had not given into the munchies cravings. I cannot make a habit of this.

I went to Chris's b-day party over the weekend. It involved nudity, a foam machine, torch fuel, the book on the table, smoke machine, slow dancing, and an awesome strip tease. Saturday night was quite possibly one of the raddest nights I have had in a while. There were alot of things said to me that really rocked my fucking world.

It feels really good to be loved.

Anyways, back to how much I hate my job. I really wish blogs didnt come back to bite you in the ass from time to time because I would just rail on this asshole I work for. I wish so bad that I could get up and walk out of here and tell him what a miserable fuck he is. He has got to know by now that no one actually likes him.

I am going camping in a few weeks and I am super-excited for that. I'm going to smoke pot and eat s'mores. YES!

I would post some pictures, but they all seem to be nudity shots at the moment. hmmm.

Oh! A quick book is on the table update: Nicola, Chris and I have single-handedly made that song popular in the L.E.S. Don't be surprised if it sweeps the nation. We aim to make it the next "Chicken Noodle Soup".

Hell & Fashion

2006-09-07T00:06:00.000-04:00

Work totally sucks. I used to get excited about fashion week and now I just want the damn thing to end as quickly as possible. Seeing males models in tighty whiteys is always exciting, but working 12 hour days? not so exciting. In anycase, the 2 shows I am working on are on Friday, so I am almost done.

I made a decision on who to give the apt. to, and its not the ex. I feel ok about this. The less ties the better. I met his new GF over the weekend, she seems really nice and cute. I actually didn't give a shit which is interesting because about a month ago that would have destroyed me. I think it's because I am falling for someone again and it's exciting. It feels good to get butterflies in my stomach, if only for another 2 months.

I feel so fucking boring this week. I wish the weekend would come sooner then later so I can resume taking stoned pictures of shit and posting it on here. DS's blog makes me a little jealous cause he's always taking pictures and posting them. It makes his stories way awesome.

In other exciting news, I fired off a bunch of resumes to companies in Argentina last night, and the one that got back to me immediately is this one that specializes in medical tourism. Basically, its a company in Argentina for American women that want to go down there and get boob jobs and learn how to tango. That would be some fun shit to work for.

I am going to post a picture just cause I can and because without pictures my life seems boring at the moment. I love this picture, it was totally not stylized. I just so happened to be wearing this dress in the presence of a zebra rug...

Hell & Boys

2006-09-05T08:30:00.000-04:00

This week will be hell. If you see me tearing around the tents at Bryant Park, please kick me in the face because I am sure I will deserve it. The bright spots this week?

Maybe some more of this:

..And definitely some of this:

God, I love boys...

2006-09-01T02:24:00.000-04:00

Chris Mother-Fuckin Green...

...just BROUGHT it with this shit. Please watch the entire thing. The ENTIRE 4:06 minutes.

2006-09-01T01:49:00.000-04:00

Chicken Noodle Soup

This is apparently the latest dance craze. Seriously, go to youtube and do a search, there are a BILLION results. I am speechless. I am also really stoned.

Gross.

2006-08-31T03:09:00.000-04:00

I am sorta glad that I will have nothing to do with the VMAs this year. My most vivid memory of the VMAs was telling the president of my company that crack is the new cleavage (then showing him my crack that was hanging out of the back of my skirt), then hooking up with the singer of a bad emo band that I used to work with. yuck.

I also dont really want to see any fat fuck punk or emo guys shoved into bad hollywood "rock" outifts, talking about sales in Germany or whatever....or like, Avril Lavigne and that gross dude, Derryck, from Sum 41.

Derryck is fucking prick by the way. He is the reason that I am no longer at my old job. I should have sued him for every last cent he had. I wish I would have bankrupted that motherfucker. DS is still mad at me for not doing that. He says that I have had not one, but TWO, opportunities to sue the shit out of someone and be set for the rest of my life...and didnt take them. Maybe I am getting soft, but I just couldnt bring myself to sue him. Its ok. Karma is a bitch, and you know what??...at least, Im not is Sum 41! Now THAT is something that he will have to live with for the rest of his life!..oh, and the fact that he has no respect for women.

I Can Feel My Gut Clenching

2006-08-29T00:49:00.000-04:00

If this cocksucker doesn't stop writing me shit like this,:

"Jen, I am drinking some white wishing it were rose-fuckin-ay and I was
lying in pistachio smothered briefs pressed up against your side. You
playing your rock-music, laughing, and sharing your sailor glass with
my pirate grin. Your teeth on the inseam of my dirty jeans."

...Then I am gonna KILL! How is a girl like me supposed to play it cool, not get involved, not show too much, keep a guard up, not fall for someone....when they receive emails like that? Honestly, you better stop lest I stop talking to you forever. Do you want that? huh? Cause I'll do it....just you watch. If you know what's good for you, you will cut this shit out. You are going to have a serious problem on your hands, and you KNOW what I am talking about....

I have a sweet tooth right now and god-damnit, if you can't be here to satisfy it..I am going to go out and get a fruity cocktail and pretend you didn't just send me that email.

Stories. I Have Lots Of Them

2006-08-28T15:31:00.000-04:00

I Do. It's true.

Regarding my 1st album I ever owned:

It was Olivia Newton-John "Let's Get Physical". I played that record so much on my Fisher-Price record player. It would end, and I would just start it over...and over...and over. I was 5 years old. My cousins came to visit from Argentina and I, of course, wanted to share my record with them. I played it over and over and over again for them. One day my cousin Paty grabbed the record off the player, during one of the many times I was playing it for her, and she got so angry I wouldn't change it that she broke the record over the side of my face. Literally shattered it against my head and face. I of course cried hysterically, so my aunt had to take me to Target to buy a new record. I bought Thriller.

Regarding the single most traumatizing event that happened to me in my childhood that also ended up shaping my musical tastes:

There was this girl, Stephanie, that used to babysit all of us that lived on the Cul-De-Sac. She was really cool and always had the raddest clothes. Her boyfriends were super cute and had awesome asymmetrical haircuts. She listened to something called "New Wave". We had no idea what that was, but we knew it was way cooler then whatever we listened to. We were always excited when Stephanie would babysit us. There were about 5 of us on the cul-de-sac, ages 5-8, and she was all of our babysitters. Anyways, the details on this next part are very blurry because our parents never really told us what happened, but Stephanie committed suicide. After she died, her mother decided to give all of us Stephanies clothes and records. The day she gave us all the stuff, we were all running around in these weird oversized polka-dot and leopard print shirts and weird black and white striped leggings that were like 10 sizes too big. We played tag or something in the street, all the while clutching our new Oingo-Boingo records. My mother saw us all and asked us where we had gotten all the clothes. We told her. She freaked out and told all the other parents and they made us take all the clothes off. We were super bummed they had taken all of our stuff and our parents were horrified. I didn't really understand just how fucking creepy that must have been for my mother and all the other mothers. In retrospect, it creeps me out. In retrospect, it also was the beginning of my love for New-Wave.

Nutjob. That's Me.

2006-08-26T19:25:00.000-04:00

I think I got delayed PMS or something today. I don't know what happened, but today I just sorta lost it. I think it's the stress. It's almost crunch time before my move and it's super overwhelming. The big stressor this week seems to be who to have sublet my apt for the year I am gone. I the one hand I have Dave who I trust completely, know what he lives like, is super responsible, etc. BUT is my ex and the thought of him banging some chick on my bed really freaks me out still. I just went and saw him play an outdoor show and talked to him for a while. I wanted to gauge how it made me feel to talk openly with him about it. It did not make me feel good. When he told me that he's barely even home anyways, I made the mistake of asking why...It's because he is always at his new girlfriends. Ouch. On the other hand, I have G, who is amazing, fun, responsible, etc...But I've known him a lot less time then I've known Dave and I'm sorta scared about my own motives for having him live here. It would be an ideal situation for him since he really needs an apt, but I'm scared to have him be so close to me. This is the sorta retarded shit that is stressing me out.
In any case, I had a really good cry today with Nicola. I'm not sure when I started being such a crybaby. I guess it's good. its a more effective way of dealing with stress for me, I'm sure of that. The other option is to bottle it and then have massive panic attacks like what used to happen to me all the time. That was completely debilitating and I don't miss that. I guess crying is ok then.
I have somehow become a total stoner in like 2 weeks flat. It's fun. Or maybe it's just another way for me to put shit on the backburner and not deal with reality. At least I am smart and recognize that that is probably what's happening here. It's fun and distracting. I went to a Mets game last night with G. I haven't been to a major league baseball game in over 20 yrs. It was really fun to be with G and his friends since they were so into it. I was asking retarded questions, such as "why is it a pitching mound? I mean, why isn't it just flat?" G did a great job at trying to give explanations to all the retarded questions I asked. After that, we came back to my house and smoked pot, slow-danced, took a log walk, played pick-up sticks in the living room, and then sat in the window listening to the rain.
What the fuck do I have to stress over? I made a decision to take control of my life. This is what the move to Argentina is all about. So, why am I stressing out? I was telling Nicola the story of when my brother was born. The day my step-mom went into labor was a very stormy day. I had a 30 minute drive to the hospital in the craziest torrential downpour I ever remember in the bay area. I was a senior in highschool and in general was freaking out about my future. I had just tuned down a scholarship and had decided I was going to move to NYC. I remember that drive and I remember I just cried hysterically the entire time, all the way to the hospital. Once I got to the hospital, I just couldn't get the tears to stop. I laid eyes on my brother for the first time and the tears just continued. At that moment, that very moment my brother was born, I knew two lives were beginning. One life at one day old and the other at 18 years of age. I am again, at 28, feeling like my life just might be beginning again. This life is just overwhelmingly beautiful and full of possibility. Stop your fucking crying, nutjob!

Seriously...5th Floor Guy, What Is The Deal?

2006-08-25T13:22:00.000-04:00

Ok. I just saw you in Subway. You noticed me. You looked at me for a good minute, then looked away. We ordered the SAME sandwich. you took note of that. I was right behind you, so close you could smell me. You stalled a little. You smirked at the joke I made to the guy behind the counter. You stalled again. You went to the beverage dispenser. We got the SAME soft drink. you stalled again, and again I was so close to you that I could smell you. We walked out the door almost together. we both went to the same street corner to head back to our office building, and then....you just took off. I was about 10 steps behind you all the way to the elevator. you got in and didn't even wait. I think you might have even pressed the "door close" button. So, I rode the other elevator up by myself.

You are driving me CRAZY!

Fuck Steven Segal

2006-08-24T10:15:00.000-04:00

For some reason, this funny piece of bullshit I found in the NY Post today (below), reminded me of this really funny post that Lucas has on his blog about Bruce Willis.

August 24, 2006 -- STEVEN Seagal can play the guitar nearly as well as he delivers a devastating kick to the groin. The pony-tailed action star brags that no actor alive can match his skills on a six-string. "Kevin Bacon, Keanu Reeves, Russell Crowe, Kevin Costner - they're not even in my universe," Seagal crows to Guitar World Acoustic magazine. "You can't find another actor who can play guitar as good as me. It's the truth." Seagal is promoting his new blues album, "Mojo Priest," which includes such standards as "Dust My Broom" and "Hoochie Koochie Man" as well as the self-penned tune, "Talk To My Ass."

If anyone has a copy of "Talk To My Ass" could you forward it to me? Thanks.

Rose-Fuckin-Ay....

2006-08-24T09:20:00.000-04:00

Last night I had a lovely dinner at this really gay French bistro near my house and drank 2 bottles of Rose. Then we went to the liquor store and got another bottle of Rose-fucking-ay. Long story short...I am so tired this morning. I almost fell backwards down the stairs in the subway and everyone was staring at me because I was blaring "The Book Is On The Table" on my ipod (yes, it's made it on to the ipod). The best part of this morning though was actually listening to that song while watching people walk down the sidewalk. I was laughing outloud. That song is so fucking ridiculous and awesome. I highly recommend downloading it and listening to it while people watching. It MIGHT just cure your morning booziness.

On another note, my boss got his Adirall prescription filled so now he's acting like a normal person again. He's still a cocksucker though. At least now this buys me more time till I get up and walk the fuck out of here.

I had weird dreams about Stephanie Seymour, Ric Ocasek, and my friends dog, Otis, last night. Stephanie Seymour was trying to kidnap Otis and I was trying to fight her. Ric...well, he was just there for some reason.

Wait. In the 3 minutes since I have been writing this my boss just called to yell at me about a broken cappuchino machine. This motherfucker is going down!

May I Present, Dottie!

2006-08-23T13:44:00.000-04:00

This is Kathryns new puppy, Dottie. She looks like she has antenna receivers instead of ears. I just had the pleasure of having lunch with Ms. Dottie, and I almost ate her instead of my sandwich!

Dear Hot Guy On The 5th Floor, Part 2

2006-08-23T10:39:00.000-04:00

Dear Hot Guy,

I'm over you, I think. You are a little too aloof. I mean, I look fucking CUTE today, and you just sorta finish your cig and fling it out to the street. I mean, even your friend you were with (who you were also ignoring) had a hard time not looking at my nicely-toned, athletic, tanned legs in my short short short prarie dress. Your loss, dude. I am a seriously fun time and you are missing out.

Love-

Jen.

Fighting The Urge

2006-08-22T11:29:00.000-04:00

I have been fighting the urge to quit my job. Yesterday, I literally almost grabbed my bag and walked out. I have to keep my eye on the goal however. I know why I'm here. I have to focus on that. My remaining time here is a means to an end. My boss however is on my last nerve. To make matters worse, our receptionist quit last week (because of my boss), so now I have been put at the receptionists desk. For those of you who know me well, you know that I am not very customer service oriented and actually sorta hate people for the most part. A woman who just walked into my work just said to me "Oh...I see, you don't want to be nice to people, do you?". Honestly, that is the response I am getting here at the front desk. The good thing about it, is well....I don't have to be anywhere near my boss and that is a good thing. Gotta look for the silver lining, no?
Anyways, here is something that brightened my day. This is a chat I just had. It put a smile on my face, and really...that is the most I can hope for today at the reception desk:

him: jen- i adore you
me: that is the cutest thing you have EVER said to me!
him: i am enjoying our time together so much
good- i am glad it was cute
it just is so
me: yippppeeee! i am too!
you are fun
and awesome

This Is Where I Want To Be Right Now

2006-08-21T14:40:00.000-04:00

Sunning, With a rad friend & recent-stoner using my buttcheek as a pillow.

I Love You, Felipe!

2006-08-18T13:33:00.000-04:00

This is Felipe. a) I work with him and the last couple of days we have been doing inventory, he has been hiding on the racks of leather and making meowing noises at everyone b) he has the raddest tattoo ever of the chupacabras on his arm and c) We sent him out once to get a birthday cake for a lady, Beverly, who worked here who was turning 40...we didn't tell him what to get on the cake, we just sorta said "get a cake for beverly with her age and name on it"...this dude came back with a cake that said "VERVENLY 55".

This guy rules my world here at work! I love you, Felipe!

Shitty, Shitty Neighbors

2006-08-18T09:31:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, when I got home from work, I was looking forward to settling in for a nice long nap. I live right next to a playground in Chinatown so sometimes this is hard. Yesterday was a particularly quiet day in the playground so I was excited for this nap. As i layed down, an INSANE fight broke out in the plyground. From what I could gather it involved 2 adults and a child. I always think the Chinese are fighting when they talk to eachother because of the tone of their voice. It's a very aggressive tone they use to speak to eachother. Anyways, now I really know what it sounds like when 2 Chinese people fight. They were screaming at eachother, right outside my window, about god knows what...meanwhile the child starts crying and screaming. The whole thing was so horrifying that when I got up to yell at them out the window to shut the fuck up, there was an audience of about 20 people who had gathered to watch the fight. My neighbor beat me to the "shut the fuck up" yell out the window. I thought doing it again right afterwards would be a bit of overkill. At this point, however, it was too late for my nap so I put on my running clothes and headed for the track near my house...
When I got to the track, it was ram packed with Chinese people. I think the ones that hang out at the track think that its just a big park with funny lines drawn on it. They don't realize that people RUN on those funny lines and that they should probably stay the fuck off it when there are people barreling down towards them with ipods on. The parents let their children dart out in front of runners, as well, and then look at you all funny when you are annoyed that you almost ate shit. All that being said, I have seen some fucked up shit at that track but usually I just throw the ipod on and go for it anyways. I don't let much get between me and my jogging. Yesterday, however, disgusted me to the core and I may never go back...
When I go there, I set my keys and my water bottle right by the side of the track. It's a risk I take because they might get picked up by an unruly child, but i do like having my water right there within my reach incase i start to overheat during the jog. Yesterday was no different. When I was about at the 2 mile mark, and in desperate need of water, I was coming around the bend on the track and I see three 5 year olds all sorta standing by my water bottle. When I got closer, I could see some sort of puddle forming around the general area. My initial thought was that they had grabbed my bottle and were emptying it, no biggie. As I approached them I realized that they were PISSING on my stuff!!! Heres how it went down:

ME: HEY! YOU ARE PISSING ON MY SHIT!
YOUNG CHILD: (blank stare)
ME: I KNOW YOU KNOW ENGLIGH, SONT LOOK AT ME THAT WAY. YOU PISSED ON MY FUCKING WATER BOTTLE! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DRINK IT NOW?! (gasp) YOU ALSO PISSED ON MY KEYS....FUCK!
YOUNG CHILD: (blank stare)
ME: Where is your mother?
YOUNG CHILD: (points to across the track)
ME: C'mon...We're gonna go talk to your mom about this...

We walk across the track. I grab my keys and am holding them by the only dry spot I can find. I kick the water bottle as hard as I can into the bushes.

Now I'm in front of the mom...

ME: YOUR CHILD JUST PISSED ON MY SHIT!
MOTHER: (blank stare)
ME: YOU PEOPLE NEED TO CONTROL YOUR CHILDREN. THIS IS NOT RIGHT. WHO TEACHES THEIR KIDS THAT ITS OK TO JUST GO AROUND PISSING EVERYWHERE? REALLY, WHO DOES THAT?
MOTHER: (blank stare)
ME: UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE! (I wave my keys in front of her and point to her child)
MOTHER: (blank stare)

...and that was that, I accomplished NOTHING. no lesson taught, no feeling of remorse from the offending party, NOTHING. Just blank stares, a ruined Fiji water, and soggy keys. Fucking assholes.

A Couple Of Loose Ends

2006-08-16T23:20:00.000-04:00

Unless anyone read the very first post I ever did on this blog, it is easy to forget that the reason I started this blog is so that while I was on my one year journey to the motherland, people could keep tabs on me. That being said, I think that the reality of all the shit I need to do between now and Nov.15th finally just hit me today. I have SO MUCH SHIT TO DO! SO MUCH SHIT, that I think I am going to put it off for a couple more weeks...
I have to go next week and get a certificate of good conduct from the police department (wtf?!), I have to ship off my belongings next month because it takes 2 months to get there by ship (WTF?!), I have to find an apt down there, a JOB, line up all my apprenticeships, deal with my insame mother who keeps calling me everyday to reassure me that argentina is going to be great for me (I know that mom, stop it), figure out what clothes to throw away, take, or store. Same goes with shoes, objects, cd's, accessories. Seriously...I don't know how to plan a year long trip. I would love to be one of these people who can just up and leave with a backpack. I am that person that takes like 5 pieces of luggage for a 2 week trip. This is gonna SUCK! SUCK SUCK SUCK SUCK SUCK! SUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!

ok...a quick little story totally unrelated to my move.

My boss today had a little meltdown. All of us were in the back of the warehouse counting leather for our yearly inventory. Our accountant has developed a nervous tick where he flaps/hits his elbow against the side of his chest when my boss stresses him out. It sorta looks like a very violent chicken wing flap. Anyways, my boss came back to the back with no shirt on and yelled at the top of his lungs "I'M GOING TO FIRE EVERYONE HERE SO FAST IT'S GONNA MAKE YOUR HEAD SPIN!!! I'VE ONLY BEEN BACK HERE ONE FUCKING DAY AND I HATE ALL OF YOU!! FUCK YOU ALL! FUCK YOU ALL!"...and right as he ended his sentence, our accountant started chicken flapping over and over again. It was so fucking funny.

When all is said and done, all the stress I am about to embark on, I will be excited to be AWAY from topless yelling and chicken-flapping and back in Argentina, the motherland, and back to where my most humble, loving family is....

Finally..

2006-08-15T23:07:00.000-04:00

...I got to bust out my badminton set from the 99 cent store! I bought it last summer and have been trying to get someone to play with me ever since. Nicole and I played a fierce (by fierce I mean, we kept just serving it to eachother and then having to run and go get it somewhere because neither of us could actually hit it) game tonight in the park by her house. Clearly, we are having fun. look at Nicoles face as she squeals with joy!! The best part was, Nicole kept doing those grunts that only tennis players do when they hit the ball. Everytime she would grunt, I would laugh and miss the shuttlecock. Notice, how I am just sorta chasing the shuttlecock in all of the pictures. This weekend, I'm going to purchase a new set...rackets where the shuttlecock does NOT get stuck in the strings everytime you hit it nicely. Can you tell I like saying the word "shuttlecock"? Say it! It rolls off the tongue so nicely....

2006-08-15T22:26:00.000-04:00

The Book Is On the Table

This is why my neighbor, Renata is so awesome. This is what her and her friends do on their spare time. The really tall guy with the tall hair is Dodo (thats his name, hes brazilian), and Renata is the only girl in the video. Seriously, if you were too dumb to not follow the link earlier, your loss really..but I feel sorry for you and decided to post the video here Please, please, please watch it!

I'm Sorry, DS's mom

2006-08-14T18:49:00.000-04:00

I am sure you are a lovely woman. You have to be to have given birth to such an amazing individual like David. The truth is, I am a drunktard....however, beyond the drunktarded-ness lies a sweet girl who is just upset because her ex-boyfriend doesn't want to get back with her. Anyways, I love your son and I'm sorry if my blog is a bit pornographic at times:

DS: quit trying to butter my mom up with a sweet post
me: what?
DS: quit trying to butter my mom up with a sweet post
me: hahahaha. wtf are you talking about?
DS: i am talking about your sweet post about kathryn and your attempt to make my mom think you aren't a drunkard
me: oh man
me: haha
me: i just did a new post. someone had a camera phone on sat night
DS: oh jesus
DS: well you just sealed the deal with her
me: hahaha
me: its over?
me: she hates me?
DS: yep
me: oh man

I guess I wore this outfit all weekend

2006-08-14T18:44:00.000-04:00

photographic evidence of the Saturday night BBQ. Not exactly sure what was going on, but I think it may have had something to do with Stacey Q.

Friends That LoveTogether, Stay Together

2006-08-13T22:32:00.000-04:00

Kathryn and I had a very special day together. I, of course, woke up with a hangover and the first person to call me this morning to hang out was Kathryn. I was a little apprehensive because she is in AA and I feel insensitive telling her about all my drunken escapades. I know it is hard for her to not be drinking and I just always feel like I am throwing it in her face. Maybe its because I drink a little too much and so what I usually have to talk about is the night's before drunken adventures. I don't know. In any case, any fear I had about this was quickly dispelled within the first 5 minutes of her being here. We went up on the roof and just started talking, and talking, and talking. After about an hour of being up there we were joined by Renata and Manderson, who are super awesome both individually and as a couple. Kathryn told me later in the evening that she felt really special being around the three of us because we are all just complete and total weirdos and she feels privileged to be able to observe that. I took that as a huge compliment because they are great, spontaneous, lovely people who aren't afraid to be themselves. Renata is an awesome dancer and gets into some serious fun times and has the foresight to document it.

Anyways, back to Kathryn...

After some talkin' and tannin', we got dressed and headed up to the east village to get coffee and sit in the small dog run to lust after all the little critters. We later went and got arepas and sat in the park to talk some more. Kathryn and I have been through some seriously dark shit, like the kind of shit that leaves peoples' jaws on the floor when you tell it, and once we got to talking the tears (on my end) just started flowing. I don't think I've ever been able to cry to Kathryn and, for the first time ever, we were able to be eachothers rock. Working on being a great friend to people is a hard thing. Working to not be completely selfish, especially in this town, is a tough thing as well. I can proudly say that Kathryn and I are getting to that point in our lives where the kindness and un-selfishness is starting to radiate. Fear and complete and total disfunction made us friends and kindness is keeping us together. I am excited to have her in my life again.

I am going to have a rough time in Argentina when I first get there. This is home, Argentina is not. I feel so blessed that when I pick up the phone in Argentina, at the other end....there will be Kathryn.

Hot.Damn.

2006-08-13T03:48:00.000-04:00

2006-08-13T03:37:00.000-04:00

A Wee Youngin

When I was about 10, I wanted to be the chick in the yellow spandex top in this video. I thought she was the coolest chick ever.

2006-08-13T03:33:00.000-04:00

Channeling Stacey Q

I had a bbq on my patio tonight and I'm pretty sure I was channleing Stacey Q. I love getting drunk and dancing to this song...exactly like she does.

2006-08-12T15:42:00.000-04:00

Naked Pot Smoking Is Super Fun!

I haven't smoked pot in about 2 years. Last night I smoked pot and danced around naked and laughed for about 2 hours straight like a retard. Thank you for the pot, sexy pot giver...

Men That Drive Me Crazy Exist In 2 Continents

2006-08-11T14:21:00.000-04:00

This is why I sometimes miss my ex and why I might have cried at the bar last night.

This is why I sometimes miss Argentina and why I cry everytime I leave there.

This is why I mostly don't miss either of them. I hold the key to the shitty future.

2006-08-11T12:10:00.000-04:00

...And On a Lighter Note.

This made my day, G. This song is amazing and I've never seen the video. All I can say is, wow.

Biwwwweeeeeee!

2006-08-10T11:04:00.000-04:00

I love this guy so much. Hanging out with him was quite possibly the drunkest 4 months of my life....and also the funnest. This guy saved my life at a Turbonegro show. He got me locked out of my apartment with no clothes on. This guy showed up almost naked in a cab at my door. This guys took me to a rad thrift store 3 hours out of the city. This guy got me kicked out of a club the first night I met him. This guy would be wearing my clothes when I would wake up in the morning. This guy coined the term "Drunky Brewster". This guy in the cutest fucking thing to happen to this city. This guy rules and fuck that bitch for breaking his heart 'cause his heart is solid gold and deserves to be put on a mantle piece. wow, i look a little developmentally delayed in this picture. I think I was mid-sentence. Why is this guy the funnest person ever?? This is why!

Oh no, you DIDN'T!!

2006-08-10T00:56:00.000-04:00

I should be in bed. Instead, I did this.

2006-08-09T23:50:00.000-04:00

My Wedding (someday) - Minus The Weird Jewish New Wave Dudes

This WILL be my wedding someday. Horses, forest, fog machines...even the clothing. I have had this idea for a gothic wedding way before I even remembered this video. Notice how the girl (for my weddings sake, that would be me..the bride) coyly stands behind the tree as she hides from the warewolf...That will be me when I am approaching the alter. I can't the horse all the way up to the alter because he will probably knock shit over. I will ride him up to the wedding and then run from tree to tree up to the alter. That shit is gonna fuckin RULE!

Dear Hot Guy On 5th Floor-

2006-08-09T16:45:00.000-04:00

This is a conversation I just had with one of my male friends regarding the really cute guy on the 5th floor. Hey guy on the 5th floor, if you ever read this...don't say you didn't see it coming:

him: then say...you know, this guy i've been fucking he's got a real nice cock, and he's got the same body as you, but you fucking melt me...
then... he'll be like...
and you say...
hi my names jen
me: oh my god, NO!
i would never say that
him: do it
you must
me: i am too shy for that
him: no no no
him: jen... i just fed you the most amazing honest come on
and you wont do it
jen
this is amazing:
you know, this guy i've been fucking he's got a real nice cock, and he's got the same body as you, but you fucking melt me...
god damned
i am good
i am
jen
i am good
me: jesus
i cannot say that!
him: that is fucking amazing
jen i should pick up more chicks
i come up with good shit
when i am walking around
looking at ass
i cannot help you then
me: i cant say that
no way
him: well... i will come up with something safer
but that was genius
read it again
you know, this guy i've been fucking he's got a real nice cock, and he's got the same body as you, but you fucking melt me...
wow
wowzers
me: its really fucking good, i will give you that
him: i am on fire
come on
SOCIAL EXPERIMENT
me: dude
if that doesnt work, then i am FUCKED!
me: i would forever be the "girl on the 6th floor who said that crazy shit"
him: you would be legend
you are leaving soon
you just have to laugh real well
if he freaks out
and say fucker
i just needed a light
me: oh my god
this keeps getting better and better!
him: jen--- you must
me: oh my god
im blushing just thinking about it
him: i could make that shit work in a second
it's all delivery
me: god damn you!
i am too shy
him: you want him to be excited, not threatened, and like wow, this chick is funny, and interesting
and then he'll leave you with a hard on

Douchebag Thief!

2006-08-09T14:06:00.000-04:00

See! Here is what I mean. Behold, The all-mighty Misfits!:

And, the shit-bag-thief from the Bravery. Boooooo!:

My Friend, DS

2006-08-09T10:00:00.000-04:00

My friend DS is quite possibly one of my favorite people ever. Ever since I met this guy, I have been able to look at the little things in life in completely different ways and find beauty in the things one never looks at. He's also a really funny motherfucker. When we first met, we were angry that the singer from The Bravery had hijacked Glen Danzigs hair-do, the Devillock. We concocted this whole anti-Bravery email campaign, which we sadly never executed. We were going to email pictures of Glen Danzig to the various members of the band along with mp3's of the song "devillock". We set up fake email addresses and were able to get all of their personal email address as well as the lawyers, managers, and publishers addresses too. Sadly, we never really got to go through with this plan for whatever reason....I think because we couldn't coordinate efficiently and what not. In anycase, DS left me a message about a year ago, which I still have saved on my voicemail. It's one of the funniest messages I have ever gotten, mostly because he is heaving in it a little...like he is running away from something. He also sounds like a kid who's up to no good. Here it is in all its glory, transcribed for you this morning:

"DUDE! I just stole all the Braverys gaffer tape! like 5 rolls of thirty dollar a piece gaffer tape...AND....then I used a piece of it to stick a note up on their amplifier that says "Danzig will kill you!" "

Just listening to it again this morning put a huge smile on my face from ear to ear. I miss this guy and I'm jealous of his job. If you want to see what I mean about how he sees the world and why he's so awesome, check him out here.

Best. Disease. Ever.

2006-08-08T15:58:00.000-04:00

Just when I thought I was an encyclopedia of sickness and disease, this comes along.

Mom Jeans

2006-08-08T14:43:00.000-04:00

Today i found this gem of a hotel. The mother-fucking International Inn of Cuddle & Bubble.
This particular room is the Princess Suite. The decor in this room is un-fucking-believable. I would like you to direct your eyes to the round bed in front of the mirror-paneled wall. Notice how they set the sexy mood with the floral duvet and beutiful dusty-pink shams at the top. Oh my. Oh my. I can hardly take it.

They have a promotion they are running right now, which promises to further tantilize your privates: "Silk Pajama Package... Here's the deal: You get one pair of silk pajamas (yours to keep) for the two of you. You decide who wears the top and who wears the bottoms. Goodness!!! such difficult decisions. Also included -chocolate covered strawberries, play dice and souvenir coffee mugs. Just add $55 to the above package rates or $55 to the nightly room rates below (1st night only)."

If the first room is not to your liking, perhaps you would like the jacuzzi goodness of this room. Nothing says hot sex like cream colored roman pillars.

And now, the best part.

G and I have been talking all morning about visiting this particular hotel. I am going to seduce him at the foot of the bed in a sweet pair of tapered mom jeans. underneath, I will have some fredericks of hollywood on. My strip tease will consist of awkward dance movements and random jerks, which he will find so intoxicating because of the sexy hall n' oates that will be playing in the background. He will not be able to resist what I am doing to him. I will crawl up the bed up towards his manhood and peel off his underwear. After we do it for hours, and watch ourselves in the mirror, of course, we will then move on to the jacuzzi where we will do it again. In the jacuzzi i will lean my head back onto the roman pillar while I scream in delight ( I will be watching myself in the mirror again, of course). Afterwards, we will put some coverups on and head out to the beach to hold hands and walk playfully through the waves breaking on our feet.

G- I've never laughed at a computer screen so hard in my life. I'm gonna miss this shit when I'm gone.

Just remember...They might have sailor cock, but I have pirate cock....

2006-08-06T21:38:00.000-04:00

This weekend I went on an epic sailing adventure, saw an awesome band (Hot Chip), almost died, got a sweet tan, laid in the grass, laid on the beach, caught & ate a fish, had a small anxiety attack, and got told "just remember, they might have sailor cock, but I have pirate cock". G told me that, of course, because he is a pertard. perfect.

This is our Captain. Captain Macker. He almost died this weekend as well, but because he decided to ride his surfboard behind a rubber dingy. The guy driving the dingy fell out and didnt have the killswitch leash 0n, so Casey was being dragged by an abandoned dingy and had to climb up the leash and wrangle the dingy and turn it off. While he was on the back of the un-manned dingy, the dingy started going out of control and heading towards boats and the captain of the dingy who floating helplessly in the middle of the bay. This picture was taken before Captain Dingy fell overboard.

None of us really know how to fish. we were totally excited when we caught this wonderful 26 inch striped bass. once we wrestled it onto the boat, we realized that none of us knew how to kill it. Casey whacked it over the head about 10 times with the handle of a knife. What started out being exciting turned into a vivid reminder of how quickly a life can be smothered out. That feeling lasted about 2 seconds because I knew that later in the night it was to be one of the most delicious things that has ever touched my tongue. At some point during the night, Morgan took this picture of me without my knowing. WE were about to board the dingy and head out to our own little private beach we had discovered. All I could think about was how yummy that fish was going to be. I felt wonderful.

When I got home, I went on a lovely walk with Lupo and Nicola. Lupo is a big 'ol monster and devours huge branches off trees. We found an abandoned baseball field near the house and layed in the grass.

At the end of the day today. I felt like this. Wonderful.

Shit is fucked, Indeed

2006-08-04T12:12:00.000-04:00

I need a man. real bad. honestly, I need a man to come home to. Someone whos gonna call me right before I get off work and be like "hey babe....what are we gonna do for dinner?....do you want to watch some netflix tonight? We got 3 new movies in the mail!!" Then I go, "ohhhh Netflix! Meet you on the couch in 20 minutes!". There is too much riff-raff in my life right now and showing up 2 hours late to work because I was f'ing someone...not cool. Maybe when I move I will meet a professional soccer player and never come back. That would rule.

I might be taking G's mom to an outdoor Hot Chip concert tonight. I really want to meet this woman. I was told this incredible story about her fixing her vibrator at the dinner table. Sounds like someone I should meet.

1st Verse

2006-08-02T23:04:00.000-04:00

I have been debating whether or not to set up a blog for while I'm away for a year. It's probably going to be pretty gay at times and I'm not leaving for another 3 1/2 months. Whatever, I'm bored and the cable is out, so fuck it...right?

Anyways, this is going to be the place where I post the amazing and not-so-amazing things that happen to me along this journey I am about to undertake. I hope that I am able to fill it with more things that are amazing rather then not-so-amazing, or at least to make the not-so-amazing things in life more amazing and in turn have them come alive in this forum.

There is going to be boredom where I am going. I have a feeling that it will be of the extreme kind. I have not saved nearly as much as I would have hoped which leads me to believe that there will be many a blockbuster night in my future.

Fuck! the cable is STILL not back and I am missing Project Runway AGAIN!

oh. the other thing I am debating is whether to be completely frank in this blog and therefore A) not tell my parents about it and B) definitly not any co-workers that I would like to maybe work with/for again upon my return to the states. OR not be completely frank and probably hide a bunch of things so that everyone in my family can know what is going on with me. I still can't decide if its better for my friends to all be a part of this or mainly my family. I know I want to talk about guys and whatnot. Is my dad ready for the reality that is my life? not so sure....